We all have those days. Those days when you've given a thousand kisses. When everyone is hanging on you, needing attention. When you've hauled around a toddler who seems allergic to the floor. There are those days when everyone wants something, anything, everything. And there's only one of you for a thousand needs. There are those days when the house is a mess, the kids are a mess... when you are a mess. When you have nothing else to give and you're empty, wanting to shout, "NO MORE!" with your hands over your ears.
And those little faces look up expectantly, so you don't.
Sometimes... sometimes those days come with rewards.
Sayer happened to be the last one to go to bed tonight, due to a late nap. As he wandered into my room asking, "can we just stay awake for a whittle bit more? And den I'll go in my bed," I asked him if he wanted to rock in the rocking chair with me like we used to do when he was younger. Smiling, he climbed into my lap, all solid arms and strong legs. He tucked his back against my chest and we grinned at our reflections in the mirror across the room.
I remarked to him, "You're getting so long! When you were teeny tiny, I could fit all of you on my lap."
He nodded seriously and said, "Yup. I am big. And Mama?"
"When I get even bigger and bigger and bigger? And when I'm bigger than you and you're little?"
I smiled at the thought, "Yeah?"
"When I'm that big, I can snuggle you up on my lap and rock you and protect you from all the monsters." He patted my leg.
I had to swallow a lump in my throat as I snuggled him close. "You will? That's very sweet, buddy."
"Yup. Because Mama? That's what you do for me 'cause I'm little."
Indeed it is.
So, those days when you don't know if you can give anymore... Those beautiful kids that you pour all of your love, affirmation, encouragement, and belief into? They fill up and a little of it spills over and back into you.
And you can thank God for the reminder that your efforts are not in vain. That they hear, absorb, listen and know your love.
So, draw strength and carry on.